How to Get Rid of Negativity in Your Life

A photo by Christopher Sardegna.
Let’s say you had a friend who was constantly exposing themselves to negativity. Day after day they spent their time and energy on things that made them feel bad about their job, income, accomplishments, body, house, wardrobe, car, etc… What would you think? What would you do? I’m guessing you’d think their behavior was ridiculous and question why anyone would purposely do things to make themselves feel terrible, and to go to such great lengths to do it.

Well, this “friend” is you and it is me. For example:

  • We log onto our computers to check email and there are messages from online retailers telling us our clothes, home furnishings and electronics are outdated. But lucky for us, they happen to be on sale! There are messages from websites we follow promising self-improvement and success. I don’t know about you, but I quickly hit delete on these and feel like a loser for not investing in myself. Geez…I’m too busy deleting this crap from my inbox.
  • We check social media and people are posting the best moments of their lives, making ours seem boring and inconsequential. Or they’re writing things that are negative or passive aggressive. I follow some people in my industry to inspire me and learn from what they’re doing, but some of it ends up making me feel bad about myself professionally.
  • We’ll read the news and top headlines are all the horrible things happening in the world. It’s doom and gloom, pits us against each other and makes us feel powerless.
  • We get the mail and it’s full of catalogs selling the latest fashion (we don’t have), home goods (we don’t have) or electronics (we don’t have). Retailers’ jobs are to make us feel like we don’t have enough and to create a sense of longing and scarcity in our lives. They promise happiness with every purchase, when in reality it’s fleeting and the cost of our consumerism may be keeping us in jobs or situations that rob of us of our happiness and sense of empowerment. What you have is not a reflection of who you are.
  • Maybe we subscribe to health and fitness magazines because we’re looking for inspiration. Did you know research shows we’ll actually feel worse about ourselves after reading them? When I started doing yoga I subscribed to a magazine in order to learn more about the practice. Each issue that came talked about how to become a more mindful, self-aware, enlightened being. And each issue made me feel more and more like an oblivious, high strung cavewoman.
  • We’ll watch TV “reality” shows featuring people living in the lap of luxury in huge mansions. Or home makeover shows telling us our countertops are ugly and that we need shiplap. Or cooking shows that make things look simple and easy…or tantalize us with the cake and cupcakes we’re trying not to eat.

Not only are these things making us feel bad, they’re consuming a lot of our mental and emotional energy. They’re robbing us of the ability to acknowledge all the good in our lives – the abundance, success and happiness that already exists.


I’m not suggesting you cut everything out of your life and live in a bubble. But I am asking you to reflect on all the messaging you’re consciously and unconsciously consuming each and every day – year after year – and how it’s making you feel and think.

Here are a five simple things you can do to minimize the messages of negativity and scarcity in your life:

  • Unsubscribe to retailers’ emails. It takes less than a minute and saves a lot of time and mental energy on the backside.
  • Call catalogs and ask to be taken off their mailing lists. I’ve been doing this the past year when I have 5 minutes here or there and it’s so worth it. Not only are you cutting down on temptation, you’re saving trees and resources.
  • Stop buying or subscribing to magazines that don’t make you feel better about yourself after reading them.
  • Hide people on your social media feed. You don’t have to unfriend them if you’re not comfortable with it. Just don’t let their posts show up in your feed. Social media is an optional leisure time activity – why should we opt in to negativity in our free time?
  • Cut back on or stop watching TV. While on some level it may be inspiring to watch certain shows, ask what value they’re adding to your life. Or do they make you more judgmental and critical of yourself or situation? TV is also an optional leisure time activity – why choose to do something that makes you feel bad?


At PowerHouse Performance we offer keynotes, half- and full-day programs in addition to one-on-one coaching to help leaders and employees improve resiliency, performance, confidence and health. Please let us know how we can help your organization.

The PowerHouse Collective: Confidence Takes Vulnerability

Jessy Muller unabashedly lives life on her own terms, bucking the milestones and timelines we’re all “supposed” to be hitting. I have a huge amount of respect for how she moves through the world: she refuses to buy into how society traditionally defines success, the “shoulds” and busyness. Case in point: she bought a 1978 Dodge Commander motor home she is fixing up – with no previous carpentry or automotive skills – and is planning to travel the U.S. on a journey of trust, faith and simplicity.

If you ask me, this requires a huge uterus (notice I didn’t say set of balls – courage doesn’t belong to just the male genitalia) and according to Jessy, a blend of confidence AND vulnerability. Vulnerability is something that has helped her identify insecurities she could confront and work through. In Jessy’s words: “Vulnerability is one of the bravest things – it’s a strength to be vulnerable.


I’m curious to know: what is your experience with vulnerability and its connection to confidence? Please leave a comment below.

Here is Jessy’s blog A Girl and Her Commander, documenting her grand endeavor. I eagerly await every post to find out what crazy obstacles she’s overcome, goals she’s accomplished, adventures she’s had and what she’s learning along the way. You can also follow her on Facebook or Instagram – she’s a gifted photographer and artist!

At PowerHouse Performance we offer keynotes, half- and full-day programs in addition to one-on-one coaching to help leaders and employees improve resiliency, performance, confidence and health. Please let us know how we can help your organization.

Fake It ‘Til You Make It

Faker Total faker!

I’ve met people who are divided on this idea. To some it seems an inauthentic way to live, while to others it’s more about behaving in a way you want to become. I happen to fall into the second camp.

If you want to be something, you have to start acting like something.

A friend of mine was doing spoken word in her spare time. When she met other people at poetry slams, they would refer to themselves poets. While she competed and did a lot of writing and speaking, she didn’t feel like she had “earned” the title of being a poet. I also know someone who takes amazing photos in their spare time and is working toward figuring out how to make a living at it, but she refuses to call herself a photographer because she hasn’t had any formal training and doesn’t view herself as an “expert”.

The first person you have to convince about “what” or “who” you are is yourself.

You have to try on a new way of thinking and behaving, and it will feel really weird at first. But the more you keep “faking it” – ie: practicing it – the more natural it will become. You are what you repeatedly do.

After writing my book it gave me the willies to refer to myself as an author. It was like I was putting one someone else’s clothes. Why I wasn’t already referring to myself as an author was a mystery: I’d already been a published contributing author on another book, was writing for Huffington Post and had been blogging for years. But the more I said it, the more I believed it and the more real it became. If you write, that makes you an author.

So when do you actually become what you want to be?

The moment you decide to start faking it.


What are you going to start faking today?


At PowerHouse Performance we offer keynotes, half- and full-day programs in addition to one-on-one coaching to help leaders and employees improve resiliency, performance, confidence and health. Please let us know how we can help your organization.



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